Set the stage for anal.
Over NYE w @LivingSexyDC I taught two seminars. During the second seminar, which was more vanilla than kink if you had to draw a line, I mentioned my best rec for anal - place and time.
You’re lover is not a porn star. She ain’t getting paid. It takes a whole day for a Goddess just to pull off a vanilla date. Anal is EXTRA. And we all have our extra. What does Dan Savage say? Good giving and game. Be that. So here’s how you make it happen - set the stage.
A woman who know’s what she’s doing, and face it, that’s the kind of woman a submissive man wants, will require an entire other bag of goodies just to be able to maintain. Women receiving anal have a whole other host of details to manage.
And for both men and women anal is different than vaginal sex because:
Different lubes work better, typically silicone is preferred for anal because it last for a long time. But it gets everywhere. Why? Because it last forever. You have to figure out what’s right for you.
It’s (sometimes) dirty. It’s nothing a parent who’s changed a diaper can’t handle, let’s be real. But if you want it that bad, either the giving or the receiving or both, you have to pay the price to ride. This may be the price. It just as likely that things will be just fine. Either way bring wipes and if you can rent a room. Have a shower RIGHT there and use it, often. Bring robes. OMG always a robe at the hotel. And a night gown that doubles as a dress so you can make ice runs in a cute pair of slippers because #hydration.
It takes time. Don’t go jamming it in there. I don’t care what they say, no one you’re going to play with is going to want you to just jam it up there. That’s a pro move and a lot like the show Jackass, don’t try this at home ok? Don’t be stupid. Take it slow. If you’re that damn excited gentlemen, wear a cock ring. It will make your dick stiffer and that’s kinda required especially for anal because it’s kinda tight, right? It will also help you relax.
If you want to use toys use condoms on them or throw them away once you're done. If you want to reuse your anal toys get silicone or stainless steel. The materials are body safe, and easy to sanitize. Throw the steel in boiling water for ten minutes. Don’t use it, idiot. Let it cool. Put it in the freezer for thermal play later. Whatever. Don’t burn yourself. And the silicone can go in the dishwasher apparently? I don’t make this shit up. I’ve done it. A few times. At someone else’s place.
Still use condoms. Always use condoms. You’ll thank me later. Just sayin…
And oh fuck yea- one more thing. Really important. Don’t douche. Don’t douche it. That’s a mess takes hours to wrap it up completely. It’s literally like fucking swamp ass. Men should shave. Women do what you want, and he’ll love it.
Disclaimer: These are my personal opinions. If you decide to actually try some of this that's your choice. And I applaud you for giving it a try. In the past, what I have recommended has often worked out for people. At least those that choose to get back to me. And based on that decade of layperson's teaching and research, I think I have something to say.